#2 good bye Fernside once and for all

As I sit in this room here at Fernside, a psychiatric rehab for mood disorder and substance abuse. I am reminded of why I came here in the first place. My then girlfriend, Gina, told my Dad that I had an underlying issue that she was witnessing and that she believed that I needed to get diagnosed and get help for it. She advocated for me and researched many rehabs and found this place - McLean at Fernside in Princeton, MA... a very secluded place at the base of the Wachusett Mountains. It is beautiful and serene here, not for city folks, that is for sure. I absolutely love it here. We are above the world it seems and every morning I can see all the way to Boston over tree tops and hills and houses nestled tightly and secretly in the trees. There are sounds of birds, wind and wild turkeys. Sounds of no sound, faint cars passing by and of peace. I went for a walk a few weeks ago and came upon a stream. How I found this stream was through mindfulness. I was listening and trying to be present and I stopped, to listen and heard water... I turned my body in the direction of the water and jumped over a barrier and low and behold I found a stream... I have pictures of this stream (to add later - a note to myself her in these parenthesis). I took video as well as I prayed there. Point, Shanon? Well the point is... I sit here now... remembering all the gifts I have gotten while her getting sober and learning about my mood condition, Anxiety. I am so grateful for Fernside and for Gina, for my Dad for supporting the decision and paying for this experience and most of all for ME, for having the guts to go through with it and to give myself the chance to go through this scary and life changing journey I am currently undergoing. I am by no means finished, in fact, this is only the beginning... but I have a beginning and this is where is all started... at Fernside in Princeton, MA at the base of the WaWa Mountain with the spirit of my Mom, God and me, working hard to get me through the days... Thank you for reading.

Love and kindness,

Shanon